Cotton-Pickin’ Days

How many “well-rounded” people do you know? Someone who has a diverse range of interests and is sort-of, kind-of good at everything? Someone who is as eager to go chase a ball as stay home and read Proust?

I don’t know anyone like that.

Over at Wrong Side of Thirty, Lilian’s trying to get her two little bookworms to put the books down and go out to do something more active - swimming, skipping rope, ice skating, something besides lying on the couch and reading all day. While I applaud her efforts, I also think that it won’t change the boys’ preferences much in the end. I know from personal experience because my parents used to drag my sister and me away from our books to go shoot hoops. And just to show how well that took, I haven’t held a basketball in my hands even once in the past 15 years. And it’s not just imitating a mom who professes that she likes to stay home herself although that’s clear in our home too where Marv and I have a long history of being homebodies. A lot of it has to do with our inborn temperaments which are awfully hard to overcome. And, yes, I do believe it’s partly genetics (but you knew I’d say that!).

I think being well-rounded is a myth. A myth that puts unnecessary pressure on everyone to involve themselves in all the following pursuits:

• Intellectual
• Athletic
• Artistic
• Social/Humanitarian

And while we have may have tried an activity from each of these categories, there’s no doubt that most of us are only good at one or two on the list.

Clearly, I’ve focused on the intellect for most of my life. I was on the track team freshman year of high school but didn’t last longer than a couple of weeks although it was the easiest sport. No one ever got kicked off the track and field team as long as they showed up for every practice and participated in an event at every meet win or lose. And, of course, I always lost. You could even letter in track if you had a good record of participation.

Up through college, I had a strong artistic side. At any given point in time, I played at least two instruments and can play piano, flute, violin, and string bass. I played piano and violin competitively and considered going to a music conservatory for a millisecond before returning to my true love - science. Social and humanitarian efforts are a little easier to come by because they can be part of any intellectual interest. For example, fitting genetics with genetic testing and patient empowerment isn’t such a stretch.

I’ve always known I’d never be the perfectly well-rounded person no matter how hard I tried and I never did try all that hard.

As a parent, one of my biggest aims is to teach my child to appreciate all the good things in life, which includes sports, arts, cerebral pursuits, and good deeds. Perhaps the key is not to think that you should excel at all these yourself, but that these activities have valuable qualities not to be dismissed. I may pretend that sports have little redeeming value but I know that they not only teach self- and body-awareness but also team spirit and a passion for pure fun. Not to mention that all the score keeping is math in disguise. haaa

When it comes to American colleges, the mantra is that they look for students who are not just tops at academics but who are also involved in extracurricular activities (note the plural); that colleges want “well-rounded” students, not kids who are indoors all day with their faces glued to the computer screen never mind if they’re entrepreneurs starting their first online business. Not true.

Parents who believe the myth of the well-rounded student and prep their children for a slew of cram school courses and extracurricular activities are probably headed down the wrong track. Admissions officers can smell passion. If an applicant doesn’t have it for the activities s/he fills in on the form, the application will reek.

Here’s an excerpt from an excellent article on the myth of the well-rounded student by Joe Jewell at PrepMe Advice:

Especially early on in a high school student’s educational career, it’s great to explore a wide range of interests. As you mature, it’s only natural that some activities will become better-loved than others, and you will naturally settle into those pursuits. Be aware of this process and seek to grow in responsibility and achievement in the things that you are passionate about.

…a student with passionate interests, even if they are somewhat off the beaten path-in fact, especially if they are somewhat off the beaten path-is truly the hot commodity in college admissions.

So while we should all strive to try different things and push ourselves out of our comfort zone, it’s still important to allow ourselves the freedom to pursue what we truly enjoy and are naturally drawn to no matter what it may be (within reason, of course!). Life is about both exciting new experiences and the comforts of what we love.

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Dear Repeat Parking Violator:

I met you yesterday at the post office. You were peering out the glass door anxiously when I walked up. As soon as I entered, you jumped all over me and said, “I’m in the queue! I’m just watching out for the traffic warden.”

Shrugging, I allowed you some space while you continued to trip back and forth from the line to the door and back again. Then you gasped and launched yourself at the door.

“Is that a traffic warden? The man in the black cap??”

The guy behind us pushed open the door and looked left, looked right.

“No, I don’t think he’s a traffic warden.”

“Oh!” you released a big breath in relief. “I got a £100 (~$200) parking ticket last week and I don’t want to get another one.”

At this point, I bit my tongue. If you’ve already been fined before, why are you doing the same thing again? There’s a reason they’ve designated the narrow alley in front of the post office a NO PARKING zone. You’re not only inconveniencing other drivers, you’re creating a potential hazard by blocking emergency vehicle access. You should be fined for being so thoughtless.

I walked to the post office so I didn’t have to worry about parking. You could have done the same. Or if you had to drive, you could have done what other drivers do - PARK IN A DESIGNATED PARKING ZONE either on the street or in one of the many parking lots around the post office.

Since you decided to park ILLEGALLY, don’t be trying to get my sympathy by telling me you just got fined heavily last week and don’t want the same thing happening again. That LESSENS my sympathy for you rather than the opposite. That you didn’t learn a darn thing and continue to flout the law means you can afford the luxury of paying to dictate your own parking zone.

If that’s your attitude, then you shouldn’t care if the traffic warden is coming or not. After all, you’re special and above the law. You deserve to park wherever you want unlike the rest of us.

Sincerely,
Legal Walker

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Watching this video made me squirm. From Real World IT at ZDNet:

Undercover reporter Michelle Madigan (Associate Producer of NBC Dateline) got a little more than she bargained for when she tried to sneak in to DEFCON 2007 with hidden cameras to get someone to confess to a felony. When DEFCON staff announced the “spot the undercover reporter” game and told the audience that an undercover reporter was taking video to catch someone confessing to a hacking crime, Madigan bolted from the conference premises followed by a pack of ~150 DEFCON attendees and reporters trying to photograph and video tape her.

I really wish she had defended her actions on stage instead of scurrying away without a word. If she accepted the assignment because she felt that having a press badge would have interefered with her reporting the truth, she should have said so and not allowed those people to bully her. Her retreat is understandable given the circumstances but I still wish she had let them have it and fought back. Clearly her intentions were less than honorable so she didn’t feel that she could defend them. I hope I never have to accept an assignment that I couldn’t defend tooth and nail.

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clipped from news.bbc.co.uk A Canadian mother has frozen her eggs for use by her seven-year-old daughter, who cannot have children naturally. Should the girl opt to use the eggs and gain regulatory approval, she would effectively have a baby that was her half-brother or sister. Professor Tan said this was the first case of mother-to-daughter egg donation. There have been cases of donation from sister to sister. “In psychiatry we are hearing more and more of children suffering from identity problems, and specifically a condition called ‘genealogical bewilderment’. Could it possibly get more bewildering than this?”

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Everyone’s trying too hard.

Over the weekend, one of my favorite UK writers, Bryan Appleyard, was chastized for posting about Perez Hilton, the gossip god.

At June 23, 2007 6:39 AM, purley way said…

I am amazed and disappointed to hear that you read crap like this……Shame on you.

What. Ever.

At June 23, 2007 11:00 AM, Hsien Lei said…

Brian, I was amazed and DELIGHTED you read crap like this…well done, you!

(What’s wrong with a little mindless entertainment. Sheesh. Lighten up.)

And just to back-up what I say, here’s me wearing my Perez Hilton t-shirt.*

Does every stinkin’ thing have to be educational? Honestly. Do we have to be working on something allll the time? I am not ashamed to admit that I enjoy some forms of reality TV like American Idol and The Apprentice. Do you think I’m stupid now (despite evidence to the contrary )?

Matthew Morse of New York gets it right in his letter to The Atlantic editor (subscribers only, email me if you want a copy):

Michael Hirschorn needs to lighten up (“The Case for Reality TV,” May Atlantic). Everyone needs their guilty pleasures, and “reality” television is his. My own include the oeuvre of Patrick Swayze, but I don’t attempt to defend my fascination by criticizing the snobbery of folks who dismiss it as vapid pap—precisely because it is vapid pap and thus, a guilty pleasure.

And then over the weekend, I was told about a mother who rejects any gifts that aren’t “educational.” This really annoyed me. Are we not allowed to have some fun for the simple enjoyment of it? When Stephen went to a bouncy castle birthday party on Saturday, should I have tried to teach him about gravity and physics? Or maybe I should have tried to measure the velocity of falling gummy candies as the children threw handfuls into the air while jumping like maniacs?

This also reminds me of people who are really proud of not having a TV in their house only to find that they watch loads of DVD’s, YouTube videos, and download all sorts of other originally made-for-TV shows for watching on their computers. How’s that different from us recording the shows we like and fast forwarding through the commercials?

Give it up. I give you permission to have some fun without the guilt. You don’t have to be bettering yourself all the time. Sit back. Have a laugh (even if it’s at some hapless celebrity). And lose a brain cell. It’ll be just fine.

(Whew. What a good rant. It’s been a looong day.)

*I swear Christina made me buy it!

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clipped from www.nytimes.com As summer looms, students at dozens of schools across the country are trying hard to be in the present moment. This is what is known as mindfulness training, in which stress-reducing techniques drawn from Buddhist meditation are wedged between reading and spelling tests. The techniques, among them focused breathing and concentrating on a single object, are loosely adapted from the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn, the molecular biologist who pioneered the secular use of mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts in 1979 to help medical patients cope with chronic pain, anxiety and depression. Susan Kaiser Greenland, the founder of the InnerKids Foundation, which trains schoolchildren and teachers in the Los Angeles area, calls mindfulness “the new ABC’s — learning and leading a balanced life.” “If we can help children slow down and think,” Dr. Haick said, “they have the answers within themselves.”

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clipped from www.jacksonfish.com I was particularly annoyed when the photography studio hired by the ballet school told me that there was no digital option among the suite of photo packages they were offering. I suppose I can’t say I was surprised, but I was incensed. Maybe that’s why I explained that I didn’t want any of the prints they were offering, I just wanted the digital version of the picture being taken. The photographer was summoned over to discuss my plight. I explained what I wanted and he asserted that I wanted to digital version so I could make extra prints. I explained that I didn’t want any extra prints, and I didn’t even want the original print. I just wanted the JPEG. He looked at me suspiciously. It probably didn’t help when I told him that if I wanted additional prints I wouldn’t order them from him anyway, I would just scan the print I got and make more.

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clipped from women.timesonline.co.uk Such scenes are being played out all over the land as a growing number of women fall victim to debilitating fashion syndrome (DFS). Sufferers allow their fashion choices to hamper their ability to lead a normal life. A tendency to wear jeans so tight that they prohibit movement, or heels so high that walking becomes impossible, is the primary symptom. One high-powered fashion insider has such an extreme wardrobe that it requires an entourage: one helper to carry the three designer handbags she routinely totes, and another to cling on to for support when she totters around in impossible heels. “She threads her arm through mine, and we’re off. Well, she hobbles and I drag her,” says her appointed walker. “She’s not interested in living a normal life; it’s all about the clothes and shoes.”

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clipped from mrwangsaysso.blogspot.com Consider the people around you – your family members, relatives, friends and colleagues. You’ll probably notice that most of them have never really failed in their attempts to achieve big goals. That is because most people do not even have a habit of attempting to achieve big goals. Ask yourself – currently, what are your five biggest goals? What – you don’t know what to write? You need to think about it for a few minutes? Aha, this shows that you didn’t even have any big goals. If you don’t instantly know what your biggest goals are, then you can’t honestly say that you have any big goals.

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One of the weirdest things about living in a house in London is the mail slot in the front door. I have never had mail shoved directly into my home. CHING! KERTHUNK! Each morning, the noise of the metal flap flying up to hit the door and the mail thudding to the ground make me jump out of my seat.

In California, we had a mailbox at the end of our driveway. In Baltimore, I had a box in the lobby of the apartment building. Same goes for Taiwan and Japan. In Vietnam, we got so few pieces of mail that they were slid under the door or hand delivered. Half of what we received had to be picked up from the post office anyway because they’d been opened for inspection in case we were trying to smuggle in who knows what contraband.

Today I came to another realization. This is the first time we’ve gotten junk mail in years. From my estimate, my parents in California get around 10 pieces of junk mail a day. We get about 2-3. Today, an envelope arrived from Oxfam with a free sachet of fairtrade coffee, a Sky TV advertisement, and some sort of home learning college brochure. The only junk mail I find remotely helpful are the delivery menus although most of those restaurants are absolute rubbish.

What junk mail did you get today?

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