Cotton-Pickin’ Days

A Texas family has sued Australia’s Virgin Mobile phone company, claiming it caused their teenage daughter grief and humiliation by plastering her photo on billboards and website advertisements without consent.

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The picture of 16-year-old Chang flashing a peace sign was taken in April by Alison’s youth counsellor, who posted it that day on his Flickr page, according to Alison’s brother, Damon.

In the ad, Virgin Mobile printed one of its campaign slogans, “Dump your pen friend,” over Alison’s picture.

The ad also says “Free text virgin to virgin” at the bottom.

The camp counsellor had a Creative Commons license on his photos.

This is why I never post pictures of other people, especially ones of their children, online in any kind of public format. Even with their consent, there’s still the potential for misuses.

I think all my friends and family know this already but please don’t post pictures of Stephen online with his full face showing unless it’s in a private, locked album. Thanks.

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This is for Noodlepie who’s asking to see everyone’s school lunch menu. Click to see a larger image.

Stephen quite likes his school lunches and tries new things every day. Yesterday’s new-to-him item was peach ice cream which he seemed to like yet wasn’t completely sold on.

Stephen: I had peach ice crem for dessert today.
Me: Oh! That’s interesting. Was it good?
Stephen nods: Yes! It was delicious.
Me: Should we get some next time?
Stephen: Naaah.

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Me: Ouch!@# Why are you always climbing on me?!?!

Stephen: Because I love you!

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Whew! What a relief! Pop! kids TV channel showed Stephen’s puppets again tonight. Watch this video!!

And a shot of the TV screen:

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If there’s more than one button, you’ll push the wrong one.

~Murphy’s Law that should have been

A month ago, I sent these pictures of Stephen’s Transformers puppets to kids TV channel Pop. At the end of the two Transformers cartoons for each day, they showcase a drawing or two. Being typical proud parents, Marv and I thought Stephen’s were way better.

I heard nothing back. Then we went on vacation last week and didn’t watch any of the shows. Last night, just a couple hours after we got back, I recorded the second of the Transformers episodes of the day. We watched it this morning.

Lo and behold, there were Stephen’s puppets! Rorry, the cartoon host, featured Stephen’s first ahead of two other submissions and said, “Is that the coolest or what?” We couldn’t believe our luck.

1. We don’t watch or record every single Transformers show so we were lucky to have seen Stephen’s feature especially since Pop TV hadn’t emailed to let us know when his puppets would be on the air.
2. We were all watching the show together at the same time when normally, Marv would be at work and I would be on the computer. If Stephen were watching alone, he might not have noticed his puppets were on TV.
3. I had recorded the show!

But, the luck ran out. After rewinding and watching it three times while squealing and exclaiming with excitement, I went to save the program for good and…

HIT THE DELETE BUTTON!

I could have died. I felt so bad. Marv was shocked at the “madness.” The only person who didn’t seem too bothered was Stephen. He said, “It’s ok, Mama. I’m glad you deleted it. The show was making me sick.”

Huh?!

We’re recording tonight’s episodes hoping they’ll show Stephen’s again since they previously showed the same kid’s artwork for days before switching to new ones. And I’ve emailed Pop asking for a copy of the show. Cross your fingers for us!!

*I may send some of his drawings to the new Transformers Comic magazine.

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Stephen completed his first year of full-time school in mid-July. It was a pretty good year overall, full of learning and developmental achievements like reading, writing, and zipping up his own jacket. Back when he started the school year, I didn’t even know if he’d make it through lunch at school in the cafeteria confronted with strange food choices. Now he tells me he tries new things every day! Cucumbers! Lettuce! Carrots! Baked beans! School has been good for him.

There have been, of course, a few bumps along the road. Being one of the youngest in class and a singleton as well, it’s been a challenge for him to learn some of the social graces like waiting his turn. But I’d take this anyday over academic challenges. (So I’m showing my true colors….)

In any case, I just read this piece by Elizabeth Weil about the practice of “redshirting” children so they start school a year later than the actual cut-off. One study showed that more redshirted children take the SAT and attend four-year college and university. Is that a reflection of the child’s abilities or the type of parent who would intentionally hold a child back to give him/her an advantage?

For just a brief moment, I considered holding Stephen back but my competitive nature pushed him forward. Besides, I was always among the younger children in class and didn’t suffer for it. In fact, I’d always wished I could have skipped a grade and shown how brilliant I really was. Like my friend SinP.

Fred Morrison, developmental psychologist:

You couldn’t find a kid who skips a grade these days. We used to revere individual accomplishment. Now we revere self-esteem, and the reverence has snowballed in unconscious ways – into parents always wanting their children to feel good, wanting everything to be pleasant.

Heck if Stephen’s going to be lulled into complacency. He’s learning that he doesn’t always win the drawing competition (even though I think he should! ha) or even get to be first in line.

When the end-of-school assessments rolled around, I began to hear stories of other children’s challenges. One child Stephen’s age in another school was apparently sent to an “occupational therapist” because he had a difficult time paying attention in class and concentrating. The OT assessed him on a number of skills like tying his shoelaces of all things. Who has shoelaces anymore? Even Marv uses a shoehorn to put his laced shoes on instead of tying and untying them every day. And look at these cool lock laces.

That made me curious about what skills schools think make a child ready for school. In the article, children have to complete these tasks in a 20-minute test:

• Skip
• Jump
• Walk backward
• Cut out a diamond on a dotted line
• Copy the word cat
• Draw a person
• Listen to a story
• Answer simple vocabulary questions like what melts, what explodes and what flies

Here are some other skills from a FamilyEducation.com kindergarten readiness checklist:

• Recognize rhyming sounds
• Show understanding of general times of day
• Manage bathroom needs
• Button shirts, pants, coats, and zip up zippers
• Begin to control oneself

I don’t believe a child’s ability can be assessed in 20 minutes especially with a teacher who s/he has never met before. Another issue is situational behavior. Stephen may act out at school because there are 25 other children acting out. On the other hand, he learns some life skills from the other children as well. At home, he’d rather have me help him put on his shoes and socks and at school, he knows he’s got to do it on his own and he does it.

Figuring out whether a child is ready for school or not is hit or miss. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like had Stephen been the oldest rather than youngest, but I believe that more important than his age is the support he gets at school and at home. And fortunately, he gets plenty from both places.

HT: Rice Daddies

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Marv brought home a Nintendo Wii for us last week. Stephen and I have played Wii Sports and Mario Party for about 30-45 minutes every day. It’s a great way for us to have some fun together at home (we have more than just video games to enjoy, of course!) especially since the weather in London has been so rainy this summer. Fortunately, it’s sunny today so we’re definitely headed out!

Here are the top 10 things Stephen has learned from playing Wii video games:

1. How to take turns
2. How to be patient
3. How to be a good winner, and NOT a sore loser
4. How to follow directions
5. How to control his body - both gross and fine motor movements
6. How to add up the scores
7. How to strategize
8. How to make decisions quickly
9. How to translate an idea into something concrete. Check out the LEGO model he made of Mario Party!
   

   From Stephen’s Toy…

10. When to call it quits!

OK, so he’s going to be five years old in less than two weeks but he’s still technically four!

What have you learned from video games?

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A couple of weekends ago, I came up with Dogma for Children #294 and made this sign as a reminder for Stephen: “I will do what you say Right Away.” Within a few hours of putting the sign up, he had embellished it with a smiley face because he felt satisfied with his own performance. And by the following day, he had added to the signage with a picture of a Transformer and some nonsensical sign that he can’t even translate himself. Most importantly, the saying “I will do what you say Right Away” has become a mantra.

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Dogma: I will do what you say right away.

Doctrine: Failure of children to respect their elders, which includes their parents and teachers, causes great disharmony.

Why: I asked Stephen to wait until later to go on the bouncy castle at the local fair because it was too crowded. He refused and started shouting, crying, and screaming. We came straight home.

I’ve begun to realize I’ve been too lax with him. At almost age five, it’s time to learn that he can’t get what he wants by that kind of behavior. Before the new school year starts in September, we will learn to do what the teachers say right away whether that be putting our shoes on after PE, reading our books, or going in the classroom after recess.

Related: Good discussion of picking our battles vs surrendering at Partners in Parenting.

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Stephen received his end-of-school-year report yesterday and after each section, there were suggestions for games and activities parents could do with their children at home. Here are some that made me laugh and others that made me reflect on what I’ve done with Stephen.

1. Join your local toy library.

Are you kidding? We are the local toy library! (See picture of Stephen exhausted after a playful day. Actually, he was just pretending. haha)

2. Play games where people take turns inc. handing round biscuits, etc.

Here I can proudly say that although Stephen isn’t a perfectly behaved child in school, he willingly shares his after school treats with his friends. I don’t think there’s a kid in that class who hasn’t received a small candy, chocolate, or potato chip from him.

3. Show your child how much you enjoy reading & writing.

Just the other day, we were talking about what each of us collects. Stephen said that he collects toys (see #1), I collect books (beams proudly), and Marv collects video games (raised eyebrow). As for the time I spend on the computer, he says, “You’re working; sending messages, talking to Popo (my mom), and writing.”

4. Talk to your child about favourite TV programmes or things you have done together.

While some parents may not want to encourage TV watching in their children, I’ve actually gone out of my way to order special Transformers books for children to encourage Stephen’s reading. I am definitely not one of those who believe TV is evil. And while I don’t necessarily agree with everything unschooler Dayna Martin and her family have chosen for their educational path, I did appreciate her article on anti-TV elitism despite the fact that I am a “book worshipper” and a magazine worshipper and an Internet worshipper,….

5. Draw your child’s attention to, and involve him/her in daily reading & writing routines.

Thankfully, Stephen has a natural interest in these things but we also do about 15 workbook pages a week. Currently, he’s working on one workbook for handwriting and another for addition.

A June example of a sentence Stephen constructed:

TuoMIS has a FeD
TuoMIS brIs MaX hoMo to VIZT

Translation: Thomas has a friend. Thomas brings Max home to visit.

6. Laying the table.

Oops. We don’t eat properly at the dining room table and because of Marv’s irregular working hours, we hardly ever eat together either.

7. Talk to “grannie.”

Eh?

8. Play with different media.

If only different media didn’t also mean big mess! Sometimes paint, play dough, sand, and other crafts are better done at school.

9. Turn pages.

I guess some kids rip pages instead of turn them? At ages 4-5, I would have expected something a little more advanced than this.

10. Make percussion instruments from tins, containers, etc.

Good lord. Does he not make enough noise just going through his LEGO pieces?! Who knew a bajillion little pieces of plastic could make such a racket!

What kinds of gems were in your child’s report card?

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