Cotton-Pickin’ Days

As business expats, we move every few years so I’ve learned not to grow too attached to material belongings no matter the sentimental value. Things have been left behind because I forgot to ask the movers to pack the contents of an out-of-the-way drawer. Other items were misplaced in transit or lost in the ether during unpacking. And still more simply had to be given away because I didn’t see a place for them in our future.

Books are no different to me than anything else. In fact, they can be even more of a burden because they’re so heavy.

Last week, the Unclutterer posted some tips about deciding which books are worth keeping. In summary:

1. Keep only those that can fit in available bookshelves.
2. Get rid of books that are just for show.
3. Say good-bye to books that have already been read, will never be read, or is readily available.
4. Use the library or used bookstore.

I keep books if:

1. I’ve dog-eared so many pages they are obviously worth keeping.
2. They have anything to do with genetics, my area of specialty.
3. They have ideas worth referencing in the future (many of my parenting books fall into this category).

I estimate that I keep one out of five books read. This sounds reasonable except that the count doesn’t include all the books I buy or are given which I haven’t read yet. Ah well. It could be worse!

Do you keep all your books? How do you decide which to give away?

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This weekend, recent news about the polygamous compound in El Dorado, Texas prompted me to read Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakuer (all of whose books I’ve read). It’s a recounting of the history of the Mormon Church with emphasis on the Fundamentalist Latter-day Saints (FLDS) Church. I may know more about the FLDS now but that doesn’t mean I understand them any better. Escape by Carolyn Jessop, a former “spiritual wife” also looks compelling.

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My family and I are business expats currently living in London UK. We have a lovely home and although our furniture is rented, it’s functional and comfortable. The one thing I wish we had is a reading chair.

When we finally get the chance to live in our own home and buy our own furnishings, I’d love to have a cushy arm chair to curl up in and read (and sleep) for a few hours. Something that’s comfortable enough for my children to snuggle up in as well.

This Adam reader chair and ottoman from Levenger looks impressive but not particularly comfortable. I’m also not a big fan of leather furniture.

This nobodyandco Bibliochaise is innovative but with hard edges on all sides.

A Bedtime Reading Chair looks very comfy but a bit boring and commonplace. (And probably close to something I would get in the end.)

Crate and Barrel has a big selection of chairs. The Lounge Chair and a Half looks cosy although the arms look hard.

These Thomasville Sunset Reading Chairs are classic looking but not cushy in the least.

Finding a good reading chair could be tougher than I thought! Do you have a reading chair? Even better, do you have a picture of a reading chair to share?

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I used to be loyal. Loyal to my friends and family, of course. But also loyal to just one book at a time. Somehow, over the last few months, I’ve fallen into the habit of having more than one book in my currently-reading list.

I am currently reading:

1. Voyager by Diana Gabaldon – Third in the Outlander series. I had to take a break from the series after reading books 1 and 2 because each one is so long. This one is just a tad over 1,000 pages and amusingly, there’s a dialogue early on in the book about whether lengthy books are more or less worthy of reading thus justifying Gabaldon’s own style of writing.

“Do you think that the size of the book is justified by the complexity of the story?” Grey asked, leaning forward to light a cheroot from the candle on the sideboard. “It must after all be a great expense to the publisher, as well as requiring a substantial effort from the reader, a book of that length.”

<snip>

“What is it–twelve hundred pages? Aye, I think so. After all, it is difficult to sum up the complications of a life in a short space with any hope of constructing an accurate account.” [Fraser replied]

“True. I have heard the point made, though, that the novelist’s skill lies in the artful selection of detail. Do you not suppose that a volume of such length may indicate a lack of discipline in such selection, and hence a lack of skill?”

Fraser considered, sipping the ruby liquid slowly.

“I have seen books where that is the case, to be sure,” he said. “An author seeks by sheer inundation of detail to overwhelm the reader into belief. In this case, however, I think it isna so. Each character is most carefully considered, and all the incidents chosen seem necessary to the story. No, I think it is true that some stories simply require a greater space in which to be told.” He took another sip and laughed.

I must agree. Gabaldon’s books haven’t felt tedious in the least although I did need a break from the whole 18th century Scotland thing after immersing myself in the world for a couple of weeks. Although, this is probably because I’m used to alternating between fiction and nonfiction.

2. Fermat’s Last Theorem by Simon Singh – This book is deceptively simple. I can’t seem to read more than 20-30 pages before getting overwhelmed by the math. I’m not scared of math by any means but I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite subject either.

3. Queen Bee Mums and Kingpin Dads (the British version hence the “mums” instead of “moms”) by Rosalind Wiseman – Absolutely hilarious and many parts ring true. It probably applies even more to parents of pre-teens and teenagers. I’ve been keeping this book in my bag to read while I’m out and about because it doesn’t take a lot of concentration and is highly entertaining.

4. The Changing Face of China by John Gittings – Still trudging through this book. I thought it would have more about the current situation in China. Instead, there’s loads about communist history during the Mao era.

5. A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby – Probably a quick read but I haven’t clicked with any of the characters. Maybe I’ll make this my bathroom book.

How many books do you have going at one time?

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This PostSecret seemed perfect for Sunday Salon.

I enjoy going into bookstores

and tearing the last pages

out of novels.

GAH!!

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Earlier this week, I was reminiscing with Lilian and my sister about various children’s books I read when I was in elementary school in the U.S. To my great surprise and dismay (!), Lilian hadn’t heard of some of them.

I now have the great pleasure of introducing these books to Stephen and just so nobody else can claim they’ve never heard of my favorite children’s books for the elementary (primary) school crowd, here’s a short list. What other books would you add?

1. Little Critter Stories by Mercer Mayer

Here’s Mercer Mayer reading aloud a Little Critter story on YouTube – Just A Secret:

2. The Great Brain series by John Dennis Fitzerald and illustrated by Mercer Mayer! – The thing I remember most from these books was how the Great Brain’s parents disciplined him using the silent treatment.

From Wikipedia :

The better-educated, more progressive Fitzgeralds are a notable exception with their use of the silent treatment. This means that Mr. and Mrs. Fitzgerald will not talk to or acknowledge the boy or boys being punished for a day, a week, or longer depending on the circumstances. J.D. frequently describes the silent treatment as worse than a whipping because of the emotional impact of being ignored by his parents, and at times says that he wishes his parents would just give them a whipping and get it over with.

3. Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle by Betty MacDonald – Her disciplinary techniques are truly ingenious.

4. A Light in the Attic and Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein

5. Jacob Two Two and the Hooded Fang by Mordecai Richler – I’d forgotten about this book until my sister reminded me.

6. The Littles series by John Peterson

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Seems like several Sunday Salon members haven’t been feeling great. I’m one of them. I got really sick with the flu two Fridays ago and can finally say I’ve recovered. During that time, I read the first two installments of Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series that’s primarily based in Scotland in the 18th century and later moves across the Atlantic to colonial America – Cross Stitch (Outlander in the US) and Dragonfly in Amber after having read book #6 in the series, A Breath of Snow and Ashes. Each has been close to 1000 pages but I’ve devoured every one and am now on book #3 Voyager.

The series is one of the richest stories I’ve ever read full of characters who I’ve come to really care for because every aspect of their lives is so wonderfully described. Even “brainy guy” Gavin McNett of Salon Books got hooked.

…the first thing you notice about “Outlander,” long before the castles-and-moors part starts to kick in, is that it’s a carefully written book, with three-dimensional characters inhabiting a complex, believable world. The people in “Outlander” seem to have lives. The story seems light-handed and plausible. Events seem to happen for reasons and not simply to push the plot forward. The second thing you notice, just as the book turns into quicksand and pulls you under with a big, wet slurp, is that it does all the standard historical-romance tropes spectacularly backwards and wrong.

It would be amazing to see the Outlander series made into a TV mini-series! I would pick Catherine Zeta-Jones to be the lead character, Claire. Don’t know who I would choose to play her love, Jamie. One Outlander reader suggests David Wenham who played Faramir in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I’d have to say he looks pretty good!

Now that my brain appears to be functioning again, however, I’ve also returned to some more serious reading and have resumed Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. Perhaps it will give me better insight into my complex 5-year-old and his relationship with the others.

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I bet illness wouldn’t stop the most prolific reader I know. Frumiousb asked some interesting questions in a couple of past Sunday Salon posts that I wanted to respond to:

1) What books do you like to bring on airplanes?

It’s only been in the last couple of years that I’ve been able to read on planes again since Stephen can now occupy himself better. Generally, I like to bring books that don’t require a great deal of concentration and that can be easily interrupted. Short story anthologies are great in this respect. I found one of my favorite short story collections at the Vancouver airport in May 2001 – Dropped Threads edited by Carol Shields and Marjorie Anderson. I was lucky because it’s only published in Canada and I probably would have never stumbled upon it otherwise. And on my last trip to Singapore, I read A Forever Family by John Houghton and Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides.

2) Do you have any experiences with public reading?

I’m fairly careful about the types of books I bring out with me because I want to give a certain impression of myself. Much like the way I arranged my CD collection back in college. I typically bring New Scientist or The Atlantic magazines with me when I go out. If I do bring a book, which is a bigger commitment because they’re so heavy, I bring non-fiction that demonstrate my braininess. hahaa I’ve never had anyone ask me about what I’m reading nor initiated a conversation with anyone about what they’re reading in public. Reading choice seems so personal that I don’t feel comfortable asking or commenting on what other people read.

What about you?

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Book reviews aren’t just good for when you’re looking for something new to read. I find them particularly interesting after I’ve finished a book just to see if my impressions jived with others.

Today I came across Sunday Salon member King Rat’s assessment of The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. His well thought out comments on this feminist classic are particularly interesting because they’re coming from a male perspective. I read The Feminine Mystique two years ago and found her description of a housewife’s life to be terribly depressing. My situation has changed tremendously because I am now gainfully employed, albeit part-time, and Stephen spends six hours a day in school which gives me plenty of breathing space. When baby #2 is born in June, I’ll have to figure out a new arrangement but it won’t be half as bad as most of the situations described by one of my favorite parenting blogs, WSJ’s The Juggle.

Besides parenting and other obligations this February, I juggled a number of books (like the smooth segue? heh) and am up to 278 on my list of books read since 1995 with mini-reviews.

278. Inheritance by Lan Samantha Chang
277. Curious Minds by John Brockman
276. A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers by Xiaolu Guo
275. Tough Choices: A Memoir by Carly Fiorina
274. A Breath of Snow and Ashes by Diana Gabaldon

My current “assigned” reading for my own good is The Changing Face of China: From Mao to Market. I’m reading a chapter a day and should be done by end next week. It seems that no matter how many books I read about the Cultural Revolution and the period of time surrounding it, I can’t keep the people nor the events straight. My grandparents and older aunts and uncles were affected but I don’t know how and to what extent. One of these days, I’ll have to ask for details if I think I can handle them. In any case, with all the many business opportunities in China, it seems important to understand the underlying motivations of the Chinese government and to be vigilant for signs of history repeating itself. Scary thought.

So that I’m not too burdened with reading about China, I’ve started reading the first book in the Diana Gabaldon Outlander series called Cross Stitch in the UK. I read book 6 in the series this month without knowing it was part of a series so I’m now playing catch up. It’s a fascinating tale involving time travel, European and American history, and love. Kerri’s going to read book 1 with me and I hope she’ll enjoy it as I have. It was fun to learn that Liz Strauss is a fan too. Anyone else?

What are you reading right now?

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Over the past six-plus years since I became pregnant with Stephen, I have read many parenting books. Most offer advice that make a lot of sense even if they’re not necessarily easy to follow in the throes of frustration and anger. This past week, I finished the most confusing parenting-related book I’ve ever read – Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn.

Punished by Rewards is dedicated to the use of rewards in schools, the workplace, and at home. The main points are:

1. Extrinsic motivation is not as effective or long-lasting as intrinsic motivation.
2. Extrinsic motivation reduces creativity.
3. Extrinsic motivation is akin to manipulation which goes against people’s natural desire to be independent.

It all makes sense on an intellectual level but as Kohn points out in the book, eliminating punishments and rewards (both are practicably equivalent in terms of acting as extrinsic motivators) is not easy. He suggests that we should focus on the three C’s:

• Content – Is the task worth doing?
• Collaboration – Can the child do the task in a supportive atmosphere?
• Choice – Is the child given a choice or at least taught why the task is a good choice?

All very reasonable. In the process of actively managing, teaching, and guiding a child, however, these key points are also easily forgotten.

For example, when a child discovers swearing, like the F-word, the easiest way to dissuade them from doing it again is punishment or taking away privileges – playtime, TV, computer, toys, or what have you. What does he care about what’s appropriate and what’s not? It’s just another word to toy with to see the adults sweat blood. But if a reward in the short term can provide some incentive for him to forget using the F-word and for it to drop out of his habitual vocabulary, why not?

As much as I agree with Kohn’s utopia of collaborative, meaningful work that people choose according to their interests, I don’t believe it applies to every instance of a child’s life. At times, we do need them to obey us simply because it makes life safer and/or pleasant for them and for everyone around them. We may explain the whole concept behind our request for obedience until we’re blue in the face but immediate action often makes a much bigger impression.

I am not suggesting that every action deserves a reward or punishment. But, based on personal experience, I don’t believe that rewards and punishments are all evil. Nonetheless, Punished by Rewards has confused me enough that I feel the need to read Rewards for Kids! hoping that it will bring some balance to my parenting. Cross your fingers for me!

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I’ve managed to finish a couple of books from my UFO reading list only to find that there were more I forgot. Here’s the current UFO reading list:

1. The Gene Makeover by Vincent Giampapa, Frederick Buechel, and Ohan Karatoprak
2. Tough Choices: A Memoir by Carly Fiorina
3. Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
4. Great Books by David Denby

Think I’ll wrap up Tough Choices when I finish Diana Gabaldon’s 1400+ page A Breath of Snow and Ashes. It’s #6 in the Outlander Series and is good enough that I may go back to read the preceding books in the series.

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This post was written as part of The Sunday Salon of avid readers.

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Putting myself through a strict reading schedule last week worked. I finished the final 150+ pages of Reading Lolita in Tehran. Here’s my usual short book review:

Not being an English major and being barely able to remember the “great English literature” we read in high school, it was hard getting into the novel esp. given its scholarly style of writing. The most important thing is that the book humanized Iran for me and I learned more about the plight of women there.

My habit is to alternate between fiction and non-fiction so I’ve now moved on to The Dante Club centered around the translation of Dante’s The Divine Comedy. It was assigned reading in college but I can’t say I remember even a whit of it. Ahh, college was great in so many ways but I do wish I had paid more attention in class.

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I’m a winner. Seriously, I win!

I don’t mean I beat you in some kind of competition. I’m talking about random contests and meaningless lotteries. Over the years, I’ve won cases of drinks, pastry, needlework kits, small sums of money, etc. I am one good fortune cookie.

Earlier this month, I won the Buy a Friend a Book! (BAFAB) contest and received Zazzle cards and stickers! As you can see, Stephen put one of the stickers to good use.

Welcome to BAFAB, the site that encourages visitors to surprise their friends with the gift of books during four annual “Buy a Friend a Book Weeks” — the first weeks of every January, April, July, and October.

The next BAFAB Week will be in April. Maybe you and a friend will get lucky!

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