Cotton-Pickin’ Days

Halloween was a blast this year. Stephen’s classmate invited him and a few other children from his class over to their house for a party. As of last week, Stephen was still not prepared to go saying that Halloween was too scary. He was thinking back to last year when an older boy wore a really hideous mask that freaked the heck out of him. (The boy was really sweet and took it straight off when he saw how scared Stephen was but the damage had been done.)

Something flipped a switch in his head, though, and on Monday, he asked me to make him an Upgrade costume from Cartoon Network’s Ben 10.

As far as I know, there’s no costume of this particular superhero nor would I spend money on one anyway. So I made some black felt gloves and embroidered them, used construction paper to make that Ben 10 chest badge and stitched it on to a DNA shirt (Ben 10 turns into each superhero when alien DNA fuses with his DNA), and gave him a ski hat to wear for head gear.

We got a ride to the party from another classmate. When we got to their house, Stephen and the other boys wouldn’t stop telling each other, “Your costume isn’t scary. My costume is scary!” Guess scary is now cool and not just scary.

At the party, the kids ran wild upstairs, downstairs, outside in the garden. They played games, ate lots of chocolate, and screamed their heads off. The host mom had created a platter of “body parts” which she handed around, including a “severed finger” that was actually a raw pork sausage. Next thing we knew, one of the girls had taken a bite out of it and was eating it! YICK.

When we got the passle of kids out the door for trick or treating, it was easy to see how gangs are formed so easily. Mob mentality all the way. They ran down the sidewalk together, surged forward together, pounded the door together, shouted “TRICK OR TREAT” together, and lunged for the candy bowls together.

Of the ten houses that opened their doors, two belong in the Trick or Treating Hall of Shame.

One middle-aged woman opened the door looking very frightened.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have any children so I don’t have any sweets.”

OK. That’s fine. We’ll move on. But she clearly thought we’d do some tricking if she didn’t hand over something.

“Maybe you want some money?”

At this point, Stephen did me proud (or maybe not). His hand shot up and he said clearly and loudly,

“I want money!”

He and another boy ended up with a pound coin each while the others left empty handed.

So this is what I’m wondering about. If she didn’t have candy, why did she even bother opening the door? And if she forgot it was Halloween or wasn’t expecting trick or treaters, then just compliment the kids on their costumes, say sorry, and let it be the end. To hand out two pounds for splitting amongst 10 kids. Laaame.

The second house that belongs in the Trick or Treat Hall of Shame was one that actually had candy but didn’t want to give a pack to every child. The woman only gave out a few then said they must share when she clearly had more candy in the bowl. What the heck is that about? Several of the kids left crying. Cheap skate.

It’s a shame Stephen won’t ever experience the kind of Halloween I had as a kid when the sidewalks teemed with children, almost every house was giving out handfuls of treats, and pillowcases were heavy with junk. Last night, though, was plenty of fun to satisfy the boy. He even went to school this morning and thanked the party host and his dad for a great party. Chalk this Halloween up as a success on more than one front.

(We’re lucky we even got to trick or treat over here. Some UK curmudgeons want the nonsense to stop.)

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Well done! Excellent customer service. In response to my complaint yesterday:

Dear Dr. Hsien-Hsien Lei

I am disappointed to learn that a recycling crew have behaved in this manner. We are conscious that residents are leaving for work, school etc during the morning period and our crews have been advised to keep the stops for loading to a minimum, to prevent delays on the highways.

I will report this incident to senior management at ECT Recycling Ltd. so that they can remind the crews to be aware of residents needs. Please accept our apologies for the delay and the inconvenience caused during this incident.

Kind Regards

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Dear Sir/Madam:

I am writing about an incident that happened this morning, 12 September, at 8:40 am. The recycling truck arrived at ***** London just before my family and I were due to leave for work and school. The truck blocked our car so we waited patiently while the team did its work.

When it became clear that we might be late, I stepped out of the car to ask the team leader to move the truck a little ways so that we might be able to get out. Instead of responding politely, he said rudely:

“You know we come every week.”

What does he mean by that comment?

Surely we are not expected to leave our house before we need to or otherwise disrupt our normal routine for the recycling team? May I point out that the recycling truck does NOT come at the same time every week. In fact, the time of arrival varies by several hours.

While I appreciate the work of the recycling team, I was dismayed at his unprofessional behavior. I hope that we won’t be greeted in such a way again.

Thank you very much for your prompt attention to this matter,

Dr. Hsien-Hsien Lei

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Dear Repeat Parking Violator:

I met you yesterday at the post office. You were peering out the glass door anxiously when I walked up. As soon as I entered, you jumped all over me and said, “I’m in the queue! I’m just watching out for the traffic warden.”

Shrugging, I allowed you some space while you continued to trip back and forth from the line to the door and back again. Then you gasped and launched yourself at the door.

“Is that a traffic warden? The man in the black cap??”

The guy behind us pushed open the door and looked left, looked right.

“No, I don’t think he’s a traffic warden.”

“Oh!” you released a big breath in relief. “I got a £100 (~$200) parking ticket last week and I don’t want to get another one.”

At this point, I bit my tongue. If you’ve already been fined before, why are you doing the same thing again? There’s a reason they’ve designated the narrow alley in front of the post office a NO PARKING zone. You’re not only inconveniencing other drivers, you’re creating a potential hazard by blocking emergency vehicle access. You should be fined for being so thoughtless.

I walked to the post office so I didn’t have to worry about parking. You could have done the same. Or if you had to drive, you could have done what other drivers do – PARK IN A DESIGNATED PARKING ZONE either on the street or in one of the many parking lots around the post office.

Since you decided to park ILLEGALLY, don’t be trying to get my sympathy by telling me you just got fined heavily last week and don’t want the same thing happening again. That LESSENS my sympathy for you rather than the opposite. That you didn’t learn a darn thing and continue to flout the law means you can afford the luxury of paying to dictate your own parking zone.

If that’s your attitude, then you shouldn’t care if the traffic warden is coming or not. After all, you’re special and above the law. You deserve to park wherever you want unlike the rest of us.

Sincerely,
Legal Walker

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Whew! What a relief! Pop! kids TV channel showed Stephen’s puppets again tonight. Watch this video!!

And a shot of the TV screen:

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If there’s more than one button, you’ll push the wrong one.

~Murphy’s Law that should have been

A month ago, I sent these pictures of Stephen’s Transformers puppets to kids TV channel Pop. At the end of the two Transformers cartoons for each day, they showcase a drawing or two. Being typical proud parents, Marv and I thought Stephen’s were way better.

I heard nothing back. Then we went on vacation last week and didn’t watch any of the shows. Last night, just a couple hours after we got back, I recorded the second of the Transformers episodes of the day. We watched it this morning.

Lo and behold, there were Stephen’s puppets! Rorry, the cartoon host, featured Stephen’s first ahead of two other submissions and said, “Is that the coolest or what?” We couldn’t believe our luck.

1. We don’t watch or record every single Transformers show so we were lucky to have seen Stephen’s feature especially since Pop TV hadn’t emailed to let us know when his puppets would be on the air.
2. We were all watching the show together at the same time when normally, Marv would be at work and I would be on the computer. If Stephen were watching alone, he might not have noticed his puppets were on TV.
3. I had recorded the show!

But, the luck ran out. After rewinding and watching it three times while squealing and exclaiming with excitement, I went to save the program for good and…

HIT THE DELETE BUTTON!

I could have died. I felt so bad. Marv was shocked at the “madness.” The only person who didn’t seem too bothered was Stephen. He said, “It’s ok, Mama. I’m glad you deleted it. The show was making me sick.”

Huh?!

We’re recording tonight’s episodes hoping they’ll show Stephen’s again since they previously showed the same kid’s artwork for days before switching to new ones. And I’ve emailed Pop asking for a copy of the show. Cross your fingers for us!!

*I may send some of his drawings to the new Transformers Comic magazine.

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My monthly personalized coupons from Sainsbury’s supermarket arrived today. Not only did I get six with my name on it, I was mistakenly sent another six for a Miss A.T. What do the different offers tell you about our shopping habits?

For Mrs. H Lei:

• £1 off when you spend £5 on ready meals
• £1.50 off when you spend £10 on fresh fruit & vegetables
• £1 off when you spend £5 on frozen meats, fish, poultry & frozen foods
• £1 off when you spend £6 on fresh pizzas
• Earn triple Nectar (Sainsbury’s reward program) on a £60 shop – two with different expiration dates

For Miss A.T.:

• 50p off when you spent £4 on bakery products, including cakes
• £1 off when you spend £7 on fresh fruit & vegetables
• £1 off when you spend £4 on cooked meats & sandwich fillers
• £1 off when you spend £5 on cheese
• Earn triple Nectar points on an £80 shop – also two coupons

These coupons tell me that Miss A.T. makes a lot of sandwich lunches with a piece of fruit included. She makes so many of these sandwiches that she has to buy £80 before she gets triple reward points.

In contrast, my own coupons show that we buy quite a bit of prepared meals (most are actually pre-marinated, uncooked meat). And, we’re not big shoppers at Sainsbury’s because of the lower purchase amount needed to receive triple reward points. Makes sense because we do 1/4 to 1/3 of our weekly grocery purchases at Marks & Spencer.

What do your personalized shopping coupons say about you?

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Sainsbury’s sent me a birthday card today!

Because you’re
really special.
We’d like to
make a fuss.

By treating you to
something sweet,
especially on us.

The card came with a coupon for a free bag of Thornton’s chocolates. I feel so loved and appreciated! heh

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Don’t look back.

So hard to do especially when it comes to books. I need to tattoo Amazon on my arm to remind myself never to buy a book from an actual bookstore.

This morning, I finally went to Hatchards, “booksellers since 1797″ and “booksellers to the Royal Household.” (Nobody looking remotely like Royalty was in the store at the same time as me although the clerk had a posh prep school air and there were a few businessmen wandering about.) I’ve never bothered before because it didn’t look like the type of place that would welcome children. Knowing that books are almost always cheaper at Amazon, I would have been happy to buy a canvas bag or a bookmark emblazoned with HATCHARDS but they had none of that.

Imagine that! A bookstore that only sells books.

I was determined to get my shopper’s experience, though, and picked up The Rough Guide to Genes & Cloning as well as The Changing Face of China: From Mao to Market at full price. Not content to say I’d been, I could not resist double checking the prices when I got home. And of course, the books are both selling at Amazon.co.uk for about 30% less than cover price.

AHHHH!!!! Why oh why do I never learn?

At least I got two free paper bookmarks out of the deal but do you think they’re worth £7?!

*By the way, Hatchards is owned by retail giant Waterstone’s. Yet another reason why Hatchards is really nothing more than a name.

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Stephen received his end-of-school-year report yesterday and after each section, there were suggestions for games and activities parents could do with their children at home. Here are some that made me laugh and others that made me reflect on what I’ve done with Stephen.

1. Join your local toy library.

Are you kidding? We are the local toy library! (See picture of Stephen exhausted after a playful day. Actually, he was just pretending. haha)

2. Play games where people take turns inc. handing round biscuits, etc.

Here I can proudly say that although Stephen isn’t a perfectly behaved child in school, he willingly shares his after school treats with his friends. I don’t think there’s a kid in that class who hasn’t received a small candy, chocolate, or potato chip from him.

3. Show your child how much you enjoy reading & writing.

Just the other day, we were talking about what each of us collects. Stephen said that he collects toys (see #1), I collect books (beams proudly), and Marv collects video games (raised eyebrow). As for the time I spend on the computer, he says, “You’re working; sending messages, talking to Popo (my mom), and writing.”

4. Talk to your child about favourite TV programmes or things you have done together.

While some parents may not want to encourage TV watching in their children, I’ve actually gone out of my way to order special Transformers books for children to encourage Stephen’s reading. I am definitely not one of those who believe TV is evil. And while I don’t necessarily agree with everything unschooler Dayna Martin and her family have chosen for their educational path, I did appreciate her article on anti-TV elitism despite the fact that I am a “book worshipper” and a magazine worshipper and an Internet worshipper,….

5. Draw your child’s attention to, and involve him/her in daily reading & writing routines.

Thankfully, Stephen has a natural interest in these things but we also do about 15 workbook pages a week. Currently, he’s working on one workbook for handwriting and another for addition.

A June example of a sentence Stephen constructed:

TuoMIS has a FeD
TuoMIS brIs MaX hoMo to VIZT

Translation: Thomas has a friend. Thomas brings Max home to visit.

6. Laying the table.

Oops. We don’t eat properly at the dining room table and because of Marv’s irregular working hours, we hardly ever eat together either.

7. Talk to “grannie.”

Eh?

8. Play with different media.

If only different media didn’t also mean big mess! Sometimes paint, play dough, sand, and other crafts are better done at school.

9. Turn pages.

I guess some kids rip pages instead of turn them? At ages 4-5, I would have expected something a little more advanced than this.

10. Make percussion instruments from tins, containers, etc.

Good lord. Does he not make enough noise just going through his LEGO pieces?! Who knew a bajillion little pieces of plastic could make such a racket!

What kinds of gems were in your child’s report card?

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