Archive for the 'Funny' Category

Tea Kitty

tea kitty

Ahhh. Dying of cuteness.

via I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? (I am so addicted….)

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Necklace of Bread

This poor pigeon reminds me of the Chinese story about a man who died from starvation. He was so lazy that he couldn’t even be bothered to eat the necklace of buns that was put around his neck.

Famine by Xu Xi at Ploughshares tells a similar tale:

She used to tell me an old legend about sloth.

There once was a man so lazy he wouldn’t even lift food to his mouth. When he was young, his mother fed him, but as his mother aged, she couldn’t. So he marries a woman who will feed him as his mother did. For a time, life is bliss.

Then one day, his wife must return to her village to visit her dying mother. “How will I eat?” he exclaims in fright. The wife conjures this plan. She bakes a gigantic cookie and hangs it on a string around his neck. All the lazy man must do is bend forward and eat. “Wonderful!” he says, and off she goes, promising to return.

On the first day, the man nibbles the edge of the cookie. Each day, he nibbles further. By the fourth day, he’s eaten so far down there’s no more cookie unless he turns it, which his wife expected he would since he could do this with his mouth.

However, the man’s so lazy he lies down instead and waits for his wife’s return. As the days pass, his stomach growls and begins to eat itself. Yet the man still won’t turn the cookie. By the time his wife comes home, the lazy man has starved to death.

via Neatorama

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Lipstick on a Pig

miss piggymdmhvonpa of White Lightning Axiom sure has a way with words. Referring to a woman who repeatedly blocks the access lane of a handicapped parking (HP) spot:

Speaking of suckage, on Monday I found the HP-Hostile woman had parked her car in the slot again. The kids asked me if I were going to write her a note. I said no, that would be like putting lipstick on a pig. A lot of effort and it would still be a pig. I’m kinda hoping they repeat that if we see her next time.

Maybe that’s why I’ve never bothered with lipstick.

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Shortcut

Last week, Stephen found a circular maze in the back of his bug magazine. Seeing how interested he was in it, I gave him Kumon’s My Book of Mazes: Things That Go! the next morning. He worked on it for several hours until he got about half way through the book. Later that evening, I had a look at his work and this is what I found.

Page 51 completed:

IMG 6519

Page 50 – He found a shortcut! /me banghead:

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Kumon workbooks are arranged by increasing levels of difficulty. In this particular maze workbook, the more fun vehicle-shaped mazes alternate with the graphical ones to build a child’s ability.

Me: Why didn’t you do this one properly?
Stephen: Because it’s boring!

Nice. Five years old and he already knows how to cut corners.

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Getting My Stuff Done

I read Stanford philosopher John Perry’s piece on structured procrastination a few months ago and have been using it to justify my existence.

Structured procrastination means shaping the structure of the tasks one has to do in a way that exploits this fact. The list of tasks one has in mind will be ordered by importance. Tasks that seem most urgent and important are on top. But there are also worthwhile tasks to perform lower down on the list. Doing these tasks becomes a way of not doing the things higher up on the list. With this sort of appropriate task structure, the procrastinator becomes a useful citizen. Indeed, the procrastinator can even acquire, as I have, a reputation for getting a lot done.

It’s a great way to make friends feel better too when they tell me about how badly they’re procrastinating. Most of us get everything done on time anyway but we take a few side trips along the way. You’re not alone. Join the structured procrastination Facebook group!

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We’re All So Much Cooler Online

My online persona meshes pretty well with my offline one. Although I choose only the best pictures of myself to put up which isn’t saying much. I need to learn how to Photoshop myself to superstardom!

Here are the lyrics to this great Brad Paisley song – Online. (Video above.)

via Inky Circus

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Installing Cancer

cancer cigarette

One of the more amusing anti-smoking graphics I’ve ever seen.

via Cancer Genetics

4 Comments »

Water Rats Be Gentle

From today’s Facebook Chinese horoscope for water rats:

With your children, you’ll obtain much better results by gentleness than by anger.

Hrmph. I don’t appreciate the insinuation.

BTW, here’s me on Facebook. Everybody’s there, don’t you know? Yes, I’m looking at you, dear sister.

Hsien-Hsien Lei's Facebook profile

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Teenage Boys Are Scary

Is this what teenage boys are like?! I’m REALLY not looking forward to it. Another eight years to go. *sigh*

HT: David Bradley

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Love in Many Shapes and Forms

Me: Ouch!@# Why are you always climbing on me?!?!

Stephen: Because I love you!

IMG 6285

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