Cotton-Pickin’ Days

Today I had the chance to practice my assertiveness skills. While waiting in line to order lunch at a local bakery/cafe, the man in front of me had his phone plastered to his ear. When the staff asked for sandwich orders, I looked at him to ask if he had ordered yet but phone yakker was so engrossed in his conversation that I was unable to catch his eye. After waiting a few moments to see if he would do so, I stepped forward to place my order.

The standard procedure at this bakery is to place your order to the side where they make the sandwiches, then continue waiting in line until you reach the register where you repeat your order to the cashier so s/he can ring you up. Phone yakker had clearly never been to this bakery before and didn’t know how to behave.

As soon as I tried to tell the staff what sandwiches we wanted, he got off the phone and said very rudely, “Why are you getting your sandwiches before us?” (Who “us” was I didn’t know since phone yakker was the only customer in front of me. I can only assume that he felt such importance that he thinks of himself as being worth more than one person.)

I replied, “You were busy talking on the phone and weren’t paying attention.”

At that moment, one of the sandwich makers quickly said, “I’ve got your order, sir.”

Phone yakker had no proper response especially when he realized all he had left to do was to pay while I was still waiting for my sandwiches to be prepared. He never looked me in the eye nor apologized for his behavior.

Did he think he could get away with intimidating me? I may be younger, shorter (shorter than him, but not so short on average since I’m 5′7″), female, and Asian, but I am certainly no pushover. I know how to be assertive and stand up for my rights.

Assertiveness is the ability to communicate opinions, thoughts, needs, and feelings in a direct, honest, and appropriate manner. Assertiveness involves standing up for your rights in a manner that does not offend others or deny the rights of others. When you are assertive you have more control over your life. You also make it less likely that other people will take advantage of you.

If he had wanted to continue the “conversation,” I would have gladly pointed out his lack of manners. All without the need to be aggressive - violating the rights and feelings of other people including phone yakker. Too bad he doesn’t have a clue what the difference is between assertiveness and aggressiveness.

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If I were a piece of pork (and some would say I am), I would be a salt cured ham. We’ve been eating restaurant meals at least once a day while on vacation in California and it has been very salty. On Tuesday, we ate both lunch and dinner out and by the evening, I had a headache that lasted through the next day.

From the Center for Science in the Public Interest* publication, Salt: The Forgotten Killer (PDF):

• Consuming more salt tends to increase blood pressure and the risk of cardiovascular disease.
• Sodium intake?mostly from salt?has drifted upwards over the past 30 years and now averages about 4,000 milligrams per day, about twice the recommended amount.
• The vast majority?about 77 percent?of sodium comes from processed foods and foods eaten outside the home. The foods that provide the most sodium to the average diet?because they are frequently consumed and/or rich in sodium?are bread, cheese, ham, salad dressings, and cakes and cookies.
• Many restaurant meals provide more than a whole day?s worth of sodium. Thousands of packaged foods provide one-fourth or more of a day?s maximum recommended intake.
• One survey found that between 1994 and 2004 the average sodium content of foods increased by 6 percent.

Food features less and less prominently on the agenda of each of our successive trips back to California. Maybe it’s because everything is either too salty or too sweet, and almost always greasy. It’s strange that I notice it so much here considering food from Vietnamese restaurants is no less saturated.

Most likely it’s because we’re also enjoying my mom’s excellent cooking. Her meals are lighter - far less greasy, salty, and sweet. Even her fruit smoothies (that also include vegetables like celery, cucumbers, etc.) are fresher and feel more cleansing than Jamba Juice. There really is nothing like mom’s cooking.

*The CSPI tends to advocate too much government regulation for my taste, but in general, I don’t think it could hurt to reduce salt intake.

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Stephen is having a blast here in California. We’ve been outdoors every single day. This is in sharp contrast to our life in Vietnam where we spend most of our time indoors - mostly at home then at various shopping areas and restaurants. Usually, we’re only out in the elements once or twice a week when we’re walking from point A to point B. No wonder Stephen always wants to walk when I ask him whether we should walk home or take a taxi. (Actually, I’m the one who walks while he’s carried.)

Trekking on unpaved paths, scattering dry leaves, tossing bark, and generally mucking about outdoors makes Stephen a very happy boy. My parents’ backyard alone qualifies as a mini-nature walk. Yesterday, we went to Tilden Park to ride the steam train and merry-go-round. It was a very special opportunity.

Parks in Vietnam are especially dirty during rainy season when litter is soggy and bare patches of ground are muddy. I’m also afraid of the profusion of mosquitoes which spell dengue fever in tropical climates particularly during this time of year. And of course, playground equipment in the developing country is nothing like what we romped on today at the Lafayette Reservoir in perfect weather. The only truly nice playground we have access to in Vietnam is too far away for regular visits.

Lafayette Reservoir Playground

I overheard one mother say to her daughter this morning, “This park doesn’t have water. We went to that park yesterday.” Imagine having the luxury of going to a different park every day. I hope they appreciate it as much as we do.

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One of the things I promised myself to do on this visit to California was to read a book from beginning to end at more than a page a session. With my family around to entertain Stephen, I figured it shouldn’t be too hard. And because of all the fun he’s been having “hiking” in my parents’ backyard, running at local parks and shopping centers, and energetically playing in the living room, Stephen has slept early and well.

I don’t have any excuses for not reading. So why am I struggling?

My brain is on vacation and balks at reading anything remotely related to genetics or parenting (my favorite genres). I started with Anxious Parents - a historian’s perspective on the evolution of parenting styles in the 20th century. I’ve been waiting for more than a year for this book to be available in paperback but despite the anticipation, I couldn’t read more than a couple of pages before nodding off. I guess parenting is antithetic to relaxing on vacation.

I’m afraid I’ve also developed a reading problem. My daily internet reading habit has left me unable to read paragraphs longer than a few sentences or anything longer than five paragraphs total. Having fallen into the laziness of skimming and reading haphazardly, books and in-depth magazine articles make me work a little too hard.

So i’ve settled on a bit of fluff reading - Tom Wolfe’s I Am Charlotte Simmons. My goal is to read 100 pages a day which should make it possible for me to finish it by next weekend. Schedules also seem antithetic to vacations, but without it I’m afraid I will just fritter away my precious reading time.

NB: Speaking of lazy habits, my ears have also been challenged by all the English whizzing around me. I had the pleasure of speaking to Kristina today and she spoke so quickly that I had a hard time keeping up with her! Goes to show that writing styles don’t necessarily reflect speaking styles. On the phone, Kristina seems even more lively and nice. Thanks for calling, Kristina!

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