ice cube Deborah Lipsky:

A meltdown is when behavior is beyond the individual’s control. Things have been spiraling out of control. They are overwhelmed at the situation and they have no control. Generally with a meltdown the person is not looking for a direct response from you. Afterwards there’s often a sense of remorse and regret.

A tantrum is a manipulative behavior, a scheme for a person to get their own way. Once the person gets their own way, there’s often a sense of satisfaction. It’s really hard to distinguish between a meltdown and a tantrum because sometimes a tantrum can lead into a meltdown.

…As a general guideline, if there is a true meltdown there should be no reward or consequence at all. If it is a behavioral tantrum then there should be an extreme consequence.

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