School isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Not that that’s news to any of us. It doesn’t matter if the principal is responsive, the teachers are nice, the playground well-equipped, and test scores impress. What it all comes down to is the mix of children and parents at the school in that particular moment your child is there.

Monday might be lovely because a certain someone didn’t come to school. Tuesday might be even better because a favorite teaching assistant is there. Wednesday is still ok because some children are sick so the class is smaller. Thursday could be awful because of a substitute teacher and rain clouds in the sky. Friday might end on an up note just because it’s the last day of the week!

Up till now, I’ve tried to get along with everyone. I don’t care how other children behave because they’re not mine to mind. The one child I have control over is Stephen and he’s the one I focus on. Even if another child has done something to hurt him, I’ve taught him to express his feelings but walk away and get over it. We’re made of teflon, I tell him. And besides, other people aren’t responsible for our feelings, we are. This way of dealing with “issues” might have worked for a while before Stephen had the confidence to assert himself but now that he is developing confidence in spades, he may be retaliating for some of the hurtful words that have been said to him in the past. (A currently playground favorite is “naughty.”)

And because we are not tattle tales, it makes playground battles difficult to judge. While many children will run to the teacher and report every little thing, Stephen has never learned to do that. We (that is, Stephen and I) take care of it ourselves and move on. Just because we keep quiet, doesn’t mean we’ve never been wronged!

Stephen has been accused by other children but we’ve never accused others. Children at their age are naturally physical. What’s the big deal? Our attitude might have to change. It’s time for other parents to know that their children are not angels being bullied by mine. And how pathetic amusing that Stephen is one of the smallest and youngest children in the class but apparently wields such powers of intimidation that other children are afraid of him. I don’t believe that one bit.

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Autobot Transform!

One particular child who repeatedly complains about Stephen deliberately pushes ahead of Stephen in line almost every morning. And another whose mother believes he is a perfect specimen of male childhood (yes, I emphasize the male part) does the same exact thing. Stephen has been taught to stay away from them. Why can’t they stay away from Stephen? And yet both mothers think that other children are “rough.” I cry foul! I say it’s self-defense and I dare them to argue with me about it.

Love is blind. Or is it denial? Insanity? Stupidity?

I love my son but know that he’s not perfect. We work hard to control ourselves - our emotions, our behavior, our bodies, and our minds. And those other kids? They’re working hard on their sense of entitlement, distortion of the truth, and overinflated egos. Good luck to them. They’ll need it.

NB: You might also be interested in reading my tips for how to deal with your child’s playground fights.