lipstickLilian found this crazy list of skills to learn by age 5 and since I’m going to be turning 35 this year, I thought I’d make a list of skills anyone my age should be able to accomplish.

HYGIENE

  1. Apply make-up every day you’re going out - minimum foundation, blush, and lipstick.
  2. Remove make-up every night (yes, I know there are some of you who go to bed without washing your face!)
  3. Perform hair removal tasks on a regular basis especially during the summer.
  4. Pluck out gray hair. I don’t believe in the old wive’s tale - pluck one gray hair and two will grow in its place.
  5. Have many pairs of shoes and rotate wearing them so none get worn out and stinky.

CLOTHING

  1. Replace clothes when they start looking ratty, stretched out, saggy, and stained.
  2. Keep your shoes clean with baby wipes.
  3. Avoid shoes with laces. They’re just a waste of time.
  4. Iron clothes when needed. The wrinkled look might be “in” at J. Crew but that ain’t for proper grown-ups. Did I tell you that the last J. Crew I was in was overflowing with wrinkled clothes? And I am almost certain that was a deliberate look.
  5. Don’t make your outfits too matchy-matchy. It’s just not done.

    From Telegraph’s Fashion section:

    “In the minimalist 1990s, we wore neutrals all over, but since then we’ve carefully avoided the gaffe of looking like a bridesmaid, or “matchy matchy“, in the famous words of Anna Wintour, editor of American Vogue.”

HOUSEKEEPING

  1. De-clutter at least one hot spot every day. Gotta love FlyLady.
  2. Clean if you feel or see it. Otherwise, spend your valuable time on something else.
  3. Remember to put leftover rice in the cooker away or else discover a nasty fermented surprise.
  4. For every item you put in the fridge, toss out two. C’mon. I know you have a rotten apple or two stuck in the crisper.
  5. Put things away immediately after using it and throw trash away instead of leaving it on the counter.

FOOD

  1. Try to be civilized and eat while sitting.
  2. Drink without spilling.
  3. Remember to keep the ratio of health food vs junk food in stock well tipped towards the former.
  4. Keep the freezer filled with frozen vegetables, fish sticks, chicken nuggets, popsicles, ice cream, and other frozen foods for emergencies.
  5. Find someone else to prepare the meals whenever possible.

Now, if you think I’m insane. Go read Lilian’s list and you’ll know where I’m coming from.