Peaceful morning, last one before Easter holidays begin tomorrow, cup of cinnamon dolce latte at Starbucks, The Times open in front of me…. All was good until I came across this piece by Alice Miles:

Natural birth! Hello? This is the 21st century

Hello? Hello?? HELLO???

Alice takes offense to the idea that the UK National Health Service (NHS) will be encouraging women to avoid medical intervention during birth. By 2009, the NHS plans to offer more birthing choices to women by recruiting more midwives and offering the option to have at-home, midwife-led, or consultant (doctor)-led births. And there’s something wrong with that?

When I gave birth in Japan, I appreciated my doctor very much. He provided excellent prenatal care and was very supportive during my long labor. But when it came time to push the baby out, he stepped aside and allowed the midwife to ease Stephen out carefully, slowly, and gently so that I could avoid an episiotomy as I had stated very strongly in my birth plan. What a fabulous partnership!

But Alice will have none of that. She went the planned Caesarean route because she wanted

…a predictable, pain-free birth (yes, I wanted it in the diary; anything wrong with that?) with a surgeon I had met and trusted, accompanied by lots and lots of drugs.

How nice for her.

Guess what, honey? All those drugs and a pain-free birth is just momentary denial. Childbirth and parenting are meant to be painful. It’s what makes you appreciate your children so much more. What’s worth doing in life takes effort and if you think that it’s possible to glide through childbirth, you’re sadly mistaken. Even if a c-section appears to be the tidiest way to go about giving life to children, it isn’t. And it’s wrong to tell women who’re considering their options that your way is the best.

All the mothers I know wanted to have a natural birth. Some of us were able to achieve it easily from start to finish, others of us required varying degrees of medical intervention. I, for example, had some help from IV prostaglandins. The point is, we wanted our options and chose what was best for us when we were going through the process. Deciding to have a c-section weeks in advance is a decision made without any knowledge of what your birth is going to be like. That kind of decision is ill-informed at best.

There is a reason women and babies are designed to go through labor and birth in a particular way that involves the birth canal and pain. With the miracle of modern medicine, we can alter the experience but no one can deny that drugs have an effect. Otherwise, no one would choose to use drugs because there would be no point.

The scorn heaped upon women who believe in the goodness of natural birth is undeserved. Alice Miles compares natural birth to life in the Third World:

We’re not in the third World. We do not need to squat behind a bush.

Who said anything about squatting behind a bush? The NHS is proposing birthing at home or in a birthing center led by midwives. I take offense that these places should be compared to a bush or a dog pee-stained tree. The comparison to the Third World is utterly ridiculous and disrespectful to women who live in those countries. In our society, we should have more freedom to decide what’s best for us and our family without being scorned by those who think they’re better because they want all the latest new-fangled treatments.

And Alice has no shortage of scorn for us “Earth Mothers” while putting women like herself up as strong heroes. Look at all the negative references:

  • She calls natural birth a “quasi-religious belief in the virtue of pain” and squeaks an “ouch” at the mention of labor.
  • Women who desire a natural birth belong to a “weird sorority.” OK, so I’m weird and proud of it!
  • Natural birth is being “…forced upon woman after woman.” Who said anything about forcing? They’re talking about CHOICES. Do you even read anything you write yourself?
  • Trained midwives are “chief conspirators” against women who want as much drugs as they are allowed.
  • Alice’s midwife was a mother of eight and a “large, broad-hipped woman.” She might as well have called her FAT - hardly a worse name in the book.
  • Natural birth is equivalent to “horror stories of agonising labours.”
  • C-sections after labor decided in the moment when it is clear that a natural birth would endanger the mother and/or child results in “terrible scars from being slashed across the stomach by the cack handed doctor.” Somehow I don’t think my friends’ experiences mirror that and my physician friends certainly wouldn’t appreciate being characterized as being less than skillful.
  • Encouraging women to have natural births is “messianic” and birth plans are “doomed.” Says who? Only in Alice’s drug-induced world.
  • Poor Alice, someone brainwashed her into thinking that “natural is right and drugs were wrong.” Who knew she didn’t have a strong enough brain to fend for herself.
  • And what’s with all the negative religious connotations? She also calls midwives “pious missionaries.” I may not be religious either but I certainly don’t have a problem with other people being pious. Me thinks Alice has some other major issues as well.

From her piece, I’ve gathered that Alice Miles doesn’t want the government to support natural births because she doesn’t want any more guilt for having chosen to go through labor and delivery with blinders on. She wants us to tell her that it’s ok to make decisions without complete info, that it’s always possible to know in advance what’s best. Deciding a priori, believing that you’re always right is the way to guilt-free denial. Too bad life is nowhere close to Alice’s imaginary perfect birth plan.

PS Alice, the term “confinement” is still used in many parts of the world and is commonly used in medical literature. It’s unfortunate that you’re too provincial to know that.

Update: Sharon Liming of Basingstoke says in the comments section of Alice Miles’s article:

Sloppy, one sided journalism, anecdotal ‘evidence’ , oh dear, i would have expected better from he Times, really.

Why, oh why,do you think midwives, generally support normal chilbirth? Because we are ‘pious’ sadists who want to tell women to go bite on a stick in the outback? For God’s sake. We support, and do our damned best to facilitate normal birth WHERE APPROPRIATE, because in in the majority of cases, it is far and away the optimum outcome for mothers and babies.

As for analgesia options, you simply cannot compare birth to going to the dentist, or undergoing other medical procedures. There ae too many physiological factors to take into account. No midwife would deny a distressed woman having a prolonged labour an epidural, but it is HER JOB to ensure she is making an informed decision. Yes, epidurals can be a godsend, but they come at a price, eg, further prolonging labour, increasing instrumental delivery rates, etc. You need to understand these implications.

*By the way, that picture is not of me.