Falling Apart
Posted by Cottontimer on 28 Jul 2006 | Tagged as: Me
My body is getting worn out. More and more I’m noticing parts of me that will never bounce back and be as good as new. Grooves in teeth, darkened skin at joints, multiplying freckles and moles, strands of grey hair appearing out of nowhere, permanent wrinkles, and a myriad of other superficial but depressing signs that I’m aging.
I care and I don’t care.
I care enough to use weekly facial peels and clay masks, apply creams, brush and rinse with anything teeth whitening, pluck, shave, and continue other maintenance routines. Not that it really makes a difference. So then I don’t care because it’s all completely futile.
I am what I am.
I am a mother in her mid-30’s who’s been married for more than 10 years. There’s no need to impress anyone nor do I have to energy to make an effort. Cosmetic procedures are out of my league as is any attempt at glamour.
The goal now is good health which may or may not be reflected on the outside. What’s important now is that I still have enough energy to take care of my family as well the mental acuity to enjoy my work and hobbies. I grudgingly accept the inevitable decline of the exterior and hope the interior holds up just a little bit better.
Check out Big Ben in the background!
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Ahh, how sweet he’s in the sling! I bet you both will miss that when he gets too darned big for it.
As for aging, I’m making a grudging peace with it. Some days.
Deb: When isn’t this boy in the sling or in arms?!?! ARGH. He did walk a little more today because I told him his legs would atrophy if he didn’t. He loved saying “atrophy.” hahaha
I’m usually pretty happy with my body’s condition overall. I had a harrowing experience the other day at the pool though. I was sitting on the wall of the spa with Sadie, warming her up. Then, the tennis camp kids came in and about a dozen 16-year-olds (maybe 9 girls and 3 boys) came in with their perfectly buff, tanned, flawless skin-covered bodies and crowded into the spa on either side of me. Talk about making someone self-conscious! No way can a 33-year-old compare to a 16-year-old body standard…
ROFL!! When my oldest boy was about this age, he often drove me up the wall, and I’d tell him he needed to behave or I’d annihilate him. He didn’t know what “annihilate” was, but it sounded ominous, and usually was enough to earn some prompt obedience. I didn’t realize the extent of my usage of this threat, until we were at a friend’s one evening, watching movies, hanging out, eating popcorn, the usual. I don’t remember what my friend tried to get him to do, but his response? “Oh no, my mom would ANNIHILATE ME.” Everybody cracked up, I was fairly embarrassed.
I’m too aware of my own aging, declining state vis ? vis my growing boy’s—-hence the need for “healthy,” “hearty” habits. So I can’t run as far as I used to but there’s more to life than that…….. Actually, I think each decade has been better for me, falling apart and all.
Older and wiser, if wearier.
you are always so pretty, smiling and glowing in your pictures–you don’t need to worry about falling apart!
I love that you still use your sling. I still have mine, but got out of such the habit of using it. Ivy still wants to be carried whenever we go places, I just lug her about on my hip or if Brian is with me he carries her. She’s still not yet 25 lbs so pretty light–until you carry her a few blocks. I should start bringing it with us places, it would make things a lot easier.
if you can still carry stephen in a sling, boy, you must be strong! i gave up the sling when my son turned a year and a half. my back just wasn’t up to it!
at any rate, you look so full of joie de vivre! at the very least that should more than compensate for the physical signs of aging
With that fire in your eyes and that beautiful smile on your face, you don’t have to worry about the rest!
I guess we al have those days when you just want to wear a mask and walk around! sigh..
I didn’t spot any signs of ageing, you look great!
I think the sling is great, and I realised after, that I probably let both Raph and Polly use the buggy till they were nearly 5, so it comes down to the same thing. Memories are very unreliable when it comes to what we did or didn’t do with our children, I think we quickly forget all the bad things…
river2sea72: The sad thing is, I remember being dissatisfied with my body at 16. Now I know better. GAH.
Deb: Stephen copied my “what the heck” comment the other day while we were over at a friend’s. I was so embarrassed. I wonder what it would be like it I routinely cursed!
Kristina: Life overall has definitely been better over the years but my body is still in decline.
Guess we can’t have it all!
Donna: Awww. You’re so sweet. Thank you! I much prefer to use the sling because it’s easier to manage but I must admit to occasional stroller envy. hehe
Ruth: “joie de vivre” - I love it!
Slinging is definitely a good workout. Once I stop, I’ll have to find another way to strengthen my upperbody muscles. Blech.
Smitha: Fire in my belly. ROAR! But you totally got how I was feeling last week. Totally blah.
Snowy: AHHHH! Does that mean I have at least another year of slinging left? I can just imagine the stares we’ll get when I’m still caring him in 10 years. hahaa
BTW, using a buggy definitely does NOT qualify as a bad thing.