Overburdened Mothers
Posted by Cottontimer on 17 Jul 2006 | Tagged as: Motherhood
So this is what my problem is:
Rudolf Dreikurs, writing from the late 1940s on, railed against permissiveness run amuck. “Dependent children…give a great deal of trouble…. The more capable the mother, the more she tends to assign to herself all the domestic duties and responsibilities, the more likely will her children become dependent. You should never do anything for a child that he can do for himself. If he is used to being catered to and waited on, then this procedure must be stopped…never should you relieve him of any obligation.”
Not to mention the damn dishwasher, vacuum cleaner, washing machine, steam iron, and other modern appliances.
Ruth Cowan’s marvelous study of housewives in the first half of the century shows that each new piece of equipment (e.g., vacuum cleaners) elevated standards of cleanliness so that women actually spent no less time at their tasks.
From Anxious Parents: A History Of Modern Childrearing In America by Peter N. Stearns
Three more quotes at Genetics and Health.
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We’ve got Charlie taking our the garbage now…… he is nine. Being Charlie, he tends not (I think) to see this as a chore, esp. since we overdo the praise.
I still have to wipe up his crumbs (or he’ll eat them from the floor; so it goes). And I prefer a good old-fashioned dishcloth with soap and water to clean—-works fine and well.
I think that this is very sound advice. It’s difficult for me to comment, as I don’t have any children of my own, but Mummy and Daddy went on doing things for us far too long - the end result is not that we are dependent so much as lazy (I live in such a mess!).
“elevated standards of cleanliness” …
so, does this mean my standards are in line with early America? *g*
I think this is absolutely correct (although I’m actually pretty good at letting M do things for herself: she already - often- takes her plate from table to sink and puts on her own shoes): I swear my MIL did me no favours by not allowing her children to lift a finger!
I read something - somewhere - recently that rang a bell: before washing machines were standard, people washed clothes when they were dirty and even often just removed spots or hung them out to freshen up. I don’t know about you but I just wash clothes because they’ve been worn a few times, not because they really need it.
Kristina: Crumbs! AHhhhhh!!! I’ve got so many on the floor at any given time. *head explodes*
As for chores, Anxious Parents discusses it at length. Yet another parenting headache to look forward to.
Rosie: But they had to do everything for you. You’re a pr0ncess after all!!
Deb L: hehe I’ll be by later to check.
Lisa: I hear ya. Mine grew up with domestic helpers. And still lives with one - me!!
As for washing clothes, I used to wash mine after every wearing but not anymore. It’s the ironing the kills me afterwards!
*g* warn me before you come, so I can at least sweep the floor.