This week, I’ve witnessed and participated in a few public and not-so-public disagreements. Whereas before, I would have been afraid to make enemies and either spoken obsequiously or stayed silent, I’m now speaking out against arrogance, fabrication, and deceit. And I don’t care if they don’t like it.

My general approach to everything is to be straightforward, analytical, and diplomatic. When people tell me they don’t like the way I’m doing things, I acknowledge them and think about how I might change. If I decide that I’m doing it the way I think is best, I will still thank them and move on. I might be fuming inside, but as much as is possible, I will never publicly attack them or ignore them.

One person I’ve been disagreeing with recently has always had a chip on his shoulder. He never thinks he’s wrong and that other people might have valid points. In fact, years and years of medical and science publishing practices should be rejected in favor of his fantasies of a free-for-all. I’m sure he thinks his behavior is the way to success because the “old guard” will never let him in; he’s got to be as pushy as he can and piss off as many people as he can to get himself some publicity and notoriety. Even people like me who have always tried to be friendly and helpful get the cold shoulder if we dare to express just the tiniest bit of dissent.

The last time I told him my opinion, I could just imagine him flipping me the bird. Then later, I got a sulky email telling me that my request to remove three items related to me on his website had to wait because he had to first take care of people who supported him. This despite the fact that I’d asked nicely twice and given him a week before asking again.

With this kind of attitude, I’m fine if he’s decided I’m his enemy. When he first began, I was happy to talk with him and share my experience. I have spent hours chatting with him on IM and email. I didn’t want to be his enemy but now I couldn’t care less. In fact, I’m glad to be rid of the extra bother.

I do owe him a thank-you, though, for helping me break free of the idea that everyone should like me and I can be everyone’s friend. To truly develop my own sense of purpose and what I think is right, it is inevitable that there will be people who disagree with me. And while we don’t have to be enemies, we’ll never be friends. And that’s just fine with me.

Update: I decided to stop talking in vagaries. Details at Genetics and Health.