The Mental Strain of Caregiving
Posted by Cottontimer on 13 May 2006 | Tagged as: Parenting
Reading this excerpt of The Selfish Pig’s Guide to Caring by Hugh Marriott about the stress of caring for a loved one who’s ill reminded me of parenting young children too. In it, he lists some acts of “psychological unkindness” that sounded familiar:
- Just say, ?You can?t get out of that chair on your own? when they are having a go in a bid for independence.
- Make a fuss over any unpleasant mess.
- Roll your eyes and utter a long-suffering sigh when they say or do something wrong.
- Tell them: ?If this goes on I?ll have you put away.?
- Leave them on their own, particularly at times when they?re frightened or sad.
He also says,
Don?t worry, I know abuse of that kind isn?t your scene. You have to be a lot more heartless than a simple Selfish Pig to indulge in deliberate cruelty. On the other hand, I?m prepared to bet that there have been moments when you came close to an act of major abuse. And I suspect I know the reason: you were being driven mad.
Yes, I have had moments of madness as a mother. Have you?
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Where should I start…….. in the end, it’s really me and my lack of self-control I get most mad at. But as Charlie has gotten older, I have realized of course I should get mad at him when some misbehavior occurs. He knows better!
This post makes me want to cry, honestly. I do feel like I’m being driven mad most days recently!
Kristina: It’s tricky figuring what these kids really understand and what they don’t. But I do think they know a lot more than most people give them credit for but are unable to control their impulses. *sigh*
Abigail: *hugs* I know the feeling all too well.