Weird British Behavior
Posted by Cottontimer on 02 Apr 2006 | Tagged as: London, What the @#!

Weird London
One of the first things I do when I hear that we’ll be moving to a new country is to collect as many books about the country as possible. For the UK, it was very easy. I first got a The Rough Guide to London, the A-Z London Street Atlas, and Notes From A Small Island by Bill Bryson. I also happened upon Watching the English by Kate Fox, a social anthropologist who documented in excruciating (and often boring) detail the daily tickings of Brits, specifically the English.
The main takeaway message I got from Dr. Fox’s book was that Marv and I are decidedly middle class because, among other characteristics, we do most of our grocery shopping at Sainsbury’s and mid-week shopping at Marks & Spencer. We also say sofa instead of couch, napkin instead serviette, lunch instead of dinner. Other curious behaviors she documents include complicated pub etiquette, British humor, and a high tolerance level for annoyance translating to pessimism (”typical” is purportedly a favorite understated exclamation).
I have also observed a few shocking (to me) British behavior in the two short months I’ve been in London.
1. One morning on the way to school, Stephen and I passed the bus stop. Since ours is the terminus, bus drivers take a short break there before going back up the route. Sometimes, there are two or three buses parked but none are ready to go so the passengers have to wait until one of the drivers finishes his break. That morning, there was an unsual number of passengers waiting and when the second bus finally opened, they filed on quietly as usual. Except for the last woman.
She got into an over-the-top argument with the driver of the first bus. Both were shouting and I think she must have said something to him about why he wasn’t driving when there were so many people waiting. The bus driver’s face turned red and spit flew out of his mouth as the two of them cursed each other. It was not a great way to start out the day and I was just the passerby!
2. Speaking of cursing, the Brits curse way more than anyone I’ve ever met. I have nothing against swearing and do it myself but only when I’m very frustrated and upset. When other people do it in jest or simply out of habit to emphasize a point (think Gordon Ramsay), I usually think it’s funny. But sometimes it seems a little too much esp. when the “C” word is used.
3. From what I read in Dr. Fox’s book, I thought the British tend to mind their own business and not interact much with strangers. This doesn’t appear to be true.
Last Friday when Stephen and I were on the way home from school (a lot happens to and fro), he squatted down on the sidewalk and complained about walking. As I was trying to coax him along, a woman in her 50’s with perfectly coiffed blonde hair drove by in her magenta Mercedes. She stopped her car right next to the sidewalk, stared straight at us, and opened her window. Thinking she needed directions, I looked at her and said hello. All of a sudden, she called out to Stephen and said, “Little boy! Listen to your mummy!”
HUH?!?!
I laughed nervously and said he was just tired from school, but quickly picked him up and hurried home in case she was some kind of psycho looking to kidnap naughty boys and cook them for dinner.
So those are my three weird London experiences so far. I’m sure there will be many more.
Have you observed anything weird or out of the ordinary lately?
*Picture courtesy of my dad.
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The Mercedes woman sounds just strange. I don’t think she’s representative of British people in general, she’s just a weirdo!
I think British people interact with near-strangers a lot, for instance with the waiter while waiting for a table at a restaurant, or with a cinema employee while buying tickets. It’s common to see people make small talk, asking how the other person is doing, or even just saying hello/thank you to bus drivers. In France this would be stalkerish (unless you actually know the person).
I always found it weird that people queue at bus stops. I understand queuing when it makes a difference who gets served first, but for the bus? I just don’t get it.
We definitely swear too much. I never swore in English before coming to university, and now I have to make an effort to purge my vocabulary when talking to children or superior.
I even slipped up one evening when I was back home. Polly and I were sitting on our bed having a Tetris battle. Mummy appeared in the doorway and cracked a joke about how I was losing - before I knew it, a sneering “Oh F*ck off!” escaped my lips. I was horrified, and apologised straight away - that is how I would react to a friend teasing me, but never to Mummy! It felt quite dreadful to have said something so rude to her.
And I agree with Amelie - we do make a lot of small talk, and it weirded me out when I first came to the UK from France, although now I consider it a prerequisite of politeness towards people employed in often difficult and menial jobs.
Queuing for the bus makes perfect sense to me: you want to snag the top left-hand front seat! There’s a whole hierarchy of bus-seats =) and you do NOT want to be stuck with the smelly shouty man.
Oh, and Notes From a Small Island is brilliant - but I like Notes From a Big Country even better =P
I never understood why they called lunch “dinner”! So confusing.
Rosie: If you get in the bus first, the smelly shouty man is going to come sit next to you and you won’t be able to do anything about it! By getting on the bus last you have more choice regarding your neighbours, at least for a little while. I do love the top front seat though
I was a stranger in the strange land of New Jersey when I landed here for college 15+ years ago. I saw friends verbally battle with each other one evening with such vehemence I thought they would never speak to each other again, only to see them sharing clothes and outfits the next day.
I’m not Jersey girl but when it comes to driving…..
ok that mercedes woman was freaky! how would she have heard or seen the situation long enough to comment about it unless she had been there before stephen squatted down?
going by your experience #1, this can rival Hong Kong. people REALLY raise their voices at everything and this shocks even loudspeaker me at times.
I really enjoy the way the check-out people chat when they process your goods, even to the point of commenting on what you’ve bought, “Oooh, what’s this for?” or “How would you cook that?” that doesn’t happen in France. Also when I was in London I found people helpful, but I think the mercedes lady was a bit over the top!
Like you, I hate anyone to tell my children what to do, that’s my job!
The swearing is awful, but seems to have crept in to the vernacular…cf Eddie Izzard. And yes Rosie, I was devastated when you said that….
I think queueing is sensible, pushing, as they did in Beijing, is not.
I like to swear — a lot. And even I found the amount of swearing here a bit hard to take at first. You do adjust, though. I find myself calling people tw*ts all the time now.
As for the c-word, you’ll adjust to that, too. I don’t use it, but I don’t find it as abrasive as I did when I first moved here. After hearing it so much, I’ve come to assume it’s not the same scary curse word we reserve for very special people in the US.
I hate it when strangers butt in to “discipline” my child. They don’t know what the circumstances of the behavior are… although, one time, a woman helped me enormously in a Target checkout line where Sadie was having a GIANT temper-tantrum and she gave Sadie a little piece of candy that calmed her right down. I was ever so grateful for that.
You look like a mama on a mission in that photo! I can’t believe Stephen still goes in the sling. Sadie was DONE with carriers of every sort by the time she hit about 9 months.
The C word! Wow … not a lot of that here in the US. I mean, who does ‘courtesy’ anymore.
Am?lie: There was an extensive discussion in the book about the British tendency to queue up for everything. I haven’t really observed it myself and think it’s more of a Japanese tendency. LOL
Rosie: You and I sit in the same spot on the bus! Maybe you even warmed my seat in the past?
Debra: Not a clue about lunch/dinner/supper/?? Confusing as heck. Luckily no one has invited me to “dinner” yet.
Kristina: Yikes! I think we’d better stick to buses when we go out together then. hee hee
pei fen: Oh yeah, HKers are SOOOO LOUD. Ugh.
Snowy: It’s so sweet how Rosie immediately felt bad for swearing at you even in jest. As for crowds in Beijing and other Asian countries, I will never get used to it.
Gracefruit: Your kind of swearing I think is funny. But the “c” word…still not so funny. *shudder*
river2sea72: Yeah, I don’t know what that weird woman was thinking. I don’t necessarily count what she did as “discipline” more like being a nosey old lady. haha And what would she have done if I didn’t speak English!?
Stephen is still in the sling for about 30 minutes a day minimum. I still prefer it to strollers and luckily, he’s a smaller than average kid with a bigger than average mama. haha
mdmhvonpa: Who? You!
[...] Fellow b5er Ingrid at A Puerto Rican in France has a category on her blog called “wtf”. I’ve decided to steal the idea and call mine “What the @#!”. And, I’m going to start at #5 because I’ve already shared a few What the @#! moments in London. Marv and I encounter at least one What the @#! moment here every single day. [...]
what sling is i anyway HH, if it still carries your son well enough I could maybe use something like that for my daughter
Andrea: It’s a Moms in Mind cotton sling. One of my favorites.
[...] In Kate Fox’s Watching the English, she talks about the common (mis)perception that the English always form a line no matter where they are. Based on my eight months of living in London, I don’t think it’s true but that’s obviously what everyone thinks anyway. [...]