How To Talk To A Blogger
Posted by Cottontimer on 11 Mar 2006 | Tagged as: Blogging
Yesterday, I received an e-mail from someone who I’d mentioned in this blog. It was a very nice e-mail, but it rubbed me the wrong way.
I’d written about this person’s website and book a few days ago saying I found them hilarious. But, because I had encountered malware via an ad on his site that I accidentally clicked on, I declined to link to him.
Instead of leaving a comment on that post asking for specifics, he chose to e-mail me privately instead. So no one could see that he was actually a nice guy trying to make things better. And, no one could see that he asked me to remove what I said about malware on his site.
By asking me to edit what I wrote–which is ridiculous because this is a personal blog and no one has power over me–he was suggesting that I wasn’t telling the truth. That what I said couldn’t be believed unless he could confirm it.
I am not a liar. Nor do I exaggerate.
If I were feeling obstinate, I would have left my post up. I never linked to his website directly AND since I was linking to the Amazon listing of his book, I was giving him free advertising. Instead, I decided to remove all reference to him, his website, and his book.
Blogs function with transparency and good faith. If you ever find yourself in the same situation as this guy, leave a nice comment for the blogger asking for ways to correct the situation. But NEVER NEVER NEVER ask them to censor their post.
Learn to harness the power of blogs to promote you and your product.
ETA: Liz disagrees.
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Fully agree. Recently I had two incidents within a couple of weeks of each other. In one, a blogger came at me in a full-force no-holds-barred attack over a couple of words in a post. Since I felt strongly that the issue was much more their own problem rather than mine, I stood my ground. A couple of email exchanges did nothing but fuel the fire more, even though I tried very hard to defuse the situation. This resulted in me being de-listed by the other. That’s OK. I did not remove them from my bloglist since I do respect and regularly read their stuff. I look back on it as the other party having a childish temper tantrum - maybe just a bad day, or something else in their life was eating them.
In the other incident a few days later, another blogger pointed out in a very kind way how something I had said could be offensive. I deleted the entire post because (1) they were correct, and (2) they did not make loud demands that I do anything.
The old saw about “a kind word turneth away wrath” remains true. These blogs are our individual properties. While we cannot control who visits, we do maintain control of published comments, AND the content of our own space. If someone does not like it, then don’t come back. It’s just that simple.
Winston: Thanks for the comment! I suppose part of the problem is that the written word can be misconstrued. It’s good that you can be openminded enough to know when to stand your ground and when to change your mind. I’m not sure that I can be as rational but I certainly try!
Well, that seems really odd. Blogging is easy, people are difficult.
mdmhvonpa: Well put!