Cotton-Pickin’ Days

[I didn't realize she was a Stanford prof!]

I agree, but I wonder how individual women can become bolder, when we’ve been socialized to be less argumentative?

and I thought it was the other way around. I thought women are more confrontational thus…

river2sea72: I suppose having good role models makes a big difference. In my case, I think have encouraging teachers has made a big difference too.

AnP: Maybe in the home but not in the workplace?!

I was never an arguer till I came to New Jersey for college (and subsequently married a native Jerseyan). I realized that the way I was raised, I thought arguing meant that the two parties dislike each other but not at all—arguing is an art, like Socrates’ dialoguing in ancient Greece.

thanks for telling me! I’ve been arguing a lot here at work, the way I do it at home! haha

KChew: I just had a big argument with my dad yesterday (per usual), but now I’m over it. I wonder what kind if crazy stuff Socrates and his buddies might have spouted in the heat of the moment?!

[...] Arguing can be fun and accomplish quite a lot if it’s a give-and-take of ideas, reaching a constructive conclusion. At home, I’ve decided that I’d prefer to maintain the peace whenever possible and to back down if it will keep the other person happy (sometimes I don’t succeed, but I try!). At work, I enjoy a good discussion both for and against my points. [...]

Hmm, arguing is such a loaded word. I would say that I am much more assertive than in my past and don’t shy away from discussion, but ‘arguing’ in my mind is linked with rage, whereas ‘debate’ for example would not be.