At about 10:50 this morning, approximately 10 minutes before Stephen was technically done with school, I went by to take a peek and see how he was doing. I thought he’d be fine this third day on his own and was planning to drop by the restaurant next door to buy his favorite tiramisu before picking him up. Unfortunately, the assistant teacher told me he had been crying almost non-stop since P.E., which was around 10 o’clock.

When I got to the classroom and looked in the window, he was indeed sitting alone at the table crying. While the teacher organized the coloring sheets and a few other children played with the toys (the rest were with the assistant teacher in the play area), Stephen was crying with a tissue in one hand periodically wiping away the tears from his sad little red face. It broke my heart to know he’d been crying with no one to comfort him.

Not that the teachers didn’t try to make him feel better. I actually had to tell the teacher it wasn’t her fault because he’s a stubborn little guy and can cry until the mommy comes home. And when he’s really upset, no one can comfort him, not even his daddy and sometimes not even his mommy.

Having been a believer in the attachment parenting cult style, I have rarely left Stephen to cry it out without me being present. As he’s gotten older, there have been times when nothing I do will please him so he’s had to cry for a while in the bedroom before calming down. But even in those situations, he usually doesn’t stop crying completely unless he’s in physical contact with me - in my arms, on my lap, or wrapped around my legs (when I’m too angry to deal with him).

I know he’ll stop crying eventually as he gets used to the routine of school. And I can understand the teachers’ frustration when they are powerless to console him. But it still troubles me to know that he’s pining for me in what is essentially isolation. I’ll have to try and convince myself that the tears make our reunion all the sweeter.

NB: Lunch was served soon after I arrived. To my surprise, he wanted to stay with the rest of the class and eat the Asian noodles mixed with stir-fried carrots, onions, and pork. He obviously doesn’t think school is all bad.