Marv is not a perfect husband nor am I a perfect wife. That doesn’t mean, however, that we’re seeking to reform the other. Most people, men especially, think that their significant other is always trying to change them. I was happy to hear that while Marv agreed that most women try to change their husbands, he didn’t think I was guilty of it.

Marv and I were married young, 23 and almost-22 years old respectively, but were never under the illusion that our relationship was perfect, that we’d never fight, or that life would treat us, as a couple, kindly. Boy, were we right.

Although sometimes I wish Marv would spend more time doing something else besides playing video games, enjoy traveling a little more, or trim that errant nose hair, those are not fallibilities that obscure the more important traits of being a loyal and supportive husband. I knew all about his proclivities before we were married and some even before we were officially dating. Maybe we were lucky that neither of us have ever tried to hide anything from each other.

Of course we have and will change as time goes by, but it won’t be because we were nagged into it. Some of the changes we make will be because we naturally care about getting along and being happy together. Other changes will be unexpected and will, hopefully, be pleasantly surprising, adding spice and newness to our relationship.

Proof that this approach works? Next week we’ll celebrate our eleventh wedding anniversary.

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