As most of you must have surmised by now, I do not like going to the gym. I dislike workout clothes, feel self-conscious going alone, have no coordination for aerobics, and find treadmills, weight machines, stationary bikes, stairmasters, and other gym equipment to be incredibly boring.

William Norwich’s long list of gym offenses (I selected my favorites) in the April 2005 issue of Vogue makes me want to go even less.

  • Fragrant people who do not bathe before working out.
  • Grunting loudly while lifting.
  • Consuming odorous food in the antechamber.
  • Wearing heavy perfumes.
  • Leaving sweat in germ pools.
  • Going to the gym or yoga studio when you have a cold or any sort of contagion.
  • Ridding yourself of blackheads in gym-floor mirrors between sets.
  • Phone cameras stealing pictures.
  • Cleaning your hairbrush in the locker-room sink.
  • Leaving sweaty items in lockers for too long.
  • Shaving legs and cutting toenails in the steam room.
  • Feet on another’s mat.

What other egregious behaviors have you observed in the gym?

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