A University of Washington study* followed 1,266 four-year-olds through age 11 and found that bullies watched about five hours of TV per day, almost two hours more than children who were not bullies. The researchers found that children were less likely to be bullies if their parents took them on outings as well as read to, played with, taught, and ate with them.

Bullying or being bullied is part of a child’s world. It seems that bullying is treated much more seriously than before for a number of reasons: fewer children per family means parents have more time to pay attention to what’s going on, society is less tolerant of bullying because of school shootings and other school violence, and kids are perhaps more malicious than before.

I’ve been both bully and victim. In grade school, I led a group of kids that chased other kids around the playground then pummeled them for no reason I can remember. In high school, we emotionally bullied another girl by deliberately excluding her from our group despite her desire to belong. I was on the receiving end of teasing in junior high when one girl made fun of my studious nature and appearance. (It didn’t bother me much, though, because I knew she was stupid.)

If I had to choose, I’d rather be a bully than a victim. At least bullies can defend themselves whereas victims seem cowardly and ineffectual. If Stephen turns out to be a bully, we would have a heart-to-heart talk about why he bullied and the importance of being kind. But, I wouldn’t be worried sick wondering if he’s going to come home bruised emotionally and/or physically. If he were a victim, however, I think it would be much more difficult to address the issue without either pushing him to be more aggressive than his natural temperament or confronting the bully’s parents.

Excuse me while I go turn on the TV.

*One of the major flaws of the study seems to be that the children’s own mothers were the ones who reported them as bullies. And the number of TV viewing hours is also self-reported, so I’m not sure how much faith I place in the study’s results.

ETA: Bullies may not suffer from low self-esteem and depression as previously thought. One study showed that sixth-grade bullies were actually popular and psychologically strong while their victims were lonely, unstable, and socially marginalized. (Pediatrics, December 2003 via The Atlantic)