In the middle of my second year of grad school, my dad told me he didn’t like my new attitude. To be perceived as credible, I had subconsciously modeled myself on some of the male professors around me. I was more aggressive, cut people off to demonstrate my own superiority, and believed that I was more intelligent than the common folk surrounding me.

As it turns out, I was only trying to join the game played for centuries by men in Western civilization.

In The Feminine Technique (Los Angeles Times, March 15, 2005), Deborah Tannen writes,

Because they’re used to this agonistic (fighting) way of exploring ideas–playing devil’s advocate–many men find that their adrenaline gets going when someone challenges them, and it sharpens their minds: They think more clearly and get better ideas. But those who are not used to this mode of exploring ideas, including many women, react differently: They back off, feeling attacked, and they don’t do their best thinking under those circumstances.

I am not the typical woman who backs off. I feel pumped when I get into debates or arguments at work. I have argued at national conferences with people (mostly men) carrying more years and degrees. I have debated or questioned people at departmental seminars where far more erudite people were in attendance. I am not afraid.

And not only am I not feminine enough, I am apparently not Chinese enough either. Cultural linguist Walter Ong says,

…Chinese science and philosophy, which eschewed disputation and aimed to “enlighten an inquirer,” not to “overwhelm an opponent.”

From Chinese anthropologist Linda Young,

…Chinese philosophy sees the universe in a precarious balance that must be maintained, leading to methods of investigation that focus more on integrating ideas and exploring relations among them rather than on opposing ideas and fighting over them.

I like fighting over ideas. It keeps my mind agile. I develop some of my best hypotheses while arguing over a point with someone who is preferably smarter than me. And all the better if I can overwhelm them.

There’s a time and place for both vigorous debate and negotiation. In my opinion, however, it’s a lot more exciting to duel.

NB: Article first seen at Arts & Letters Daily.